E74: Do You REALLY Want To Be A Millionaire?

00:29 Hi. Welcome back to another episode of Transcend the podcast. I’m excited to have you here, and today’s episode is going to be a little bit of a truth bomb or some truth serum, I don’t know, something just to get you to really think consciously about how you’re moving forward and what dreams you’re chasing. So my question to you is, do you really want to be a millionaire or do you really need to be a millionaire? Now, no shade.

00:56 To all of the folks that are out there who are chasing million dollar businesses, the trend has been to have an online business, to have a six figure business, to have a multiple six figure business, to have a million dollar business. And again, no shade. But I was one of those people who got caught up in the hype of creating a million dollar business. I had joined a program that was focused on moving women from whatever they were earning presently to becoming this million dollar business. And it was so overwhelming.

01:25 I’ll tell you though, it did one good thing for me. It let me know what was possible for me if I chose to keep moving in that direction. It was so empowering and so powerful to see other women who had businesses. They were killing it. They were providing for themselves, setting up their future generations, making waves in the industry that they were in.

01:44 That was awesome. But I got caught up on the train of million dollar business, million dollar business, million dollar business. And let me tell you, it did not feel good. Oftentimes we jump on the trend without stopping to think, is this for me? Is this something that I want to do?

02:01 And am I willing to make the sacrifices that it takes to get to that endpoint? And that’s not to say that you’re not willing to work hard, because we’re all working hard. If you’re listening to this podcast, I know you are an entrepreneur or an aspiring entrepreneur and that you are giving it your all, all that you have to give it at the moment, whatever that looks like, and that may differ from person to person. And if you’re going to build a million dollar business, you got to work hard too. But what are you going to have to sacrifice along the way to get to where you’re trying to go?

02:30 And after I sat down and thought about it for a little bit, I realized that my goal was not to have a million dollar business, but my goal was to have a business that supported my lifestyle and my dreams. Now, here’s how I felt. Before I talk to you about how to build that dream business that you have, let me tell you how I felt chasing this million dollar business idea. And not because the million dollars is the issue, but it was because I was chasing somebody else’s dream that sounded good, that wasn’t my own. So what does that feel like?

03:03 I felt like I was ungrounded and like I was drowning. Like I was taking in all of this information, trying to implement pieces from here, from there, from everywhere, but just barely keeping my head above water. I often felt insecure, like I was an imposter. Because again, I wasn’t necessarily operating from my strengths and putting them into the world, but I was imitating the things that I had seen successful people do that I admired, but I didn’t know how to fit them on and make them my own. It’s like seeing a coat that you really like in the store.

03:34 You can love that coat, take it off the rack, put it on your shoulders. But you need to custom tailor that coat to fit your body and your style. That’s the same thing we need to do in entrepreneurship. We look to the people who are ahead of us, see what they’ve done, see what we like about them and how they run their business. But then we need to take that their coat and custom tailor it to fit us.

03:55 Otherwise we’re just walking around in a coat that doesn’t fit. That’s the same thing that happens when you put somebody else’s dreams on your shoulders. I felt doubtful, I felt insecure. I didn’t know what I was doing. And again, it’s because I wasn’t pulling from my own strengths, but I was reaching out to something that I had not put in my own dreams that didn’t come from me.

04:17 And it sounded good. It didn’t feel good, but it sounded good. Sounded like something that I should do, but it wasn’t the right fit for me. Again, not the end goal, not the million dollar business, but the way that I was going about doing it, because I was imitating somebody else. I also felt anxious and at times a little bit depressed because I was chasing this goal that wasn’t actually mine.

04:39 But I didn’t know it at the time. So when things wouldn’t go like I wanted them to, when they didn’t come as easily for me, it was frustrating because I was working hard, I was giving it everything that I had, but it just wasn’t coming. And again, that’s because it wasn’t actually my goal. So there have been a couple of times in my life when I realized that I was chasing somebody else’s dream. The first happened when I opened up my own law practice.

05:02 I had come from a law firm, a corporation, and I had only seen big law firms, the big firms, the huge firms, right? Coming out of law school, our school really pushed us to get a job because then we made the school look good. Not just to get a job, to get a job at one of those big law firms. Because then we made the school look better. The bigger the firm, the better the school looked.

05:24 And I went into a mid sized law firm. Not bad. I enjoyed it while I was there. So when I decided to start my own law firm, I knew that I wanted it to be mine, but the only models that I had were the big law firms. So I ended up repeating the same style of practice, the same hours, the same workload that I had just come from not realizing that it was that style of practice that wasn’t a fit for me.

05:49 It wasn’t the end goal that wasn’t a fit, but it was how I was going about doing it. And I realized one day, I am burnt out, I am frustrated, I am overworked. And while I find this work to be noble and I’m grateful that I have the knowledge and the skill to do it, I realized that I didn’t want to have this kind of business because I wanted to go home, I wanted to go on vacation. I wanted to spend time with my friends and family and not be tied to a court schedule. So that’s the first time that I probably realized that I was not chasing my own dream, but I was chasing the corporate dream or somebody else’s dream.

06:25 The second time that I realized that I was chasing somebody else’s dream was when I was on this quest to make a million dollars in my business. And again, it’s not the number that’s the problem. It was the number, because the number wasn’t actually that important to me. What lights me up inside is being able to serve people and being able to help people. And I’m motivated by money as and I need to make enough to live off of, but I’m not motivated by just chasing the bag.

06:52 If I could give away everything for free, I would absolutely do it. In fact, my dad had to tell me one time, Asha, if you don’t get yourself together this was when I was just graduating college, and maybe I was in law school. He’s like, you’re going to need all the same services that the folks that you were trying to help need. And his point was that I have to learn how to take care of myself before I can serve everybody, because I just have a natural inclination and natural heart to give it all away. So when I was trying to focus on making a million dollars, I was too focused on how much I had to sell, what did I have to do?

07:25 And it felt like this rub. It was so much friction because I just really wanted to focus on helping people. And I realized at that point something had to change because it was so much pressure on myself to live up to this dream that I had subscribed to, but it really wasn’t my dream. So I don’t know where I got the idea from, maybe from listening to financial podcasts or really thinking about what is it that I actually need to live? But I calculated my numbers.

07:52 I thought, what kind of lifestyle do I want and how much does it cost to fund that lifestyle? And my ideal lifestyle that keeps me as I am and a little bit better than where I am now. It’s $264,000 a year. That’s it. That’s what I need to earn to make sure that I’ve replaced my teaching salary, that I get enough money to go on vacation, that I can put enough money into my investment accounts to retire in the next ten years.

08:20 That’s it. And that doesn’t mean that one day I’m not going to build a million dollar business. But what it did is it took the pressure off. I stopped chasing that million dollar dream, and that may come back to me at some point, but I started chasing my dream. And my dream led with what did I want to have in my life, who did I want to have in my life, and how did I want to feel as I was around all of these people and creating all of these experiences.

08:48 Now, as you’re sitting here listening to me right now, you may be thinking, but Asha, I really want that million dollar business. And I’m going to tell you to go ahead and chase it. But in the meantime, I want you to know what it actually is going to take to live your dream life. So how do you do that? You dream without restrictions.

09:07 If you could do anything in this world with your business, if you could run it any way you wanted, what would that look like? Write that down, think about it. And then you have to start putting some numbers to your dreams. Calculate how much it’s going to cost to live. Calculate how much you want to put away for retirement.

09:23 Calculate the next few big purchases that you want to make in your life so that you actually know what your dream numbers are for this year coming up and for the year after that. And you can take that and stairstep it so that if a million dollars really is your goal, you can get there. But if it’s not your goal, you actually know what your goal is. There are plenty of people who live fantastic, beautiful lives that are not making a million dollars, and that’s fine. So again, I’m not telling you not to go chase the bag, chase it, but make sure that you’re chasing after the bag that fits you and your lifestyle.

10:00 So that you don’t feel overwhelmed, so you don’t feel like you’re an impostor, so that you don’t feel like you’re drowning. Because this dream doesn’t actually fit what is in your heart to go and get and to go and do. So now I’m inviting you to step out from under the million dollar business goal and to really take a hard look at yourself and at your dreams and your goals and to put the actual numbers to those. You may find that you don’t need a million dollars to be happy. You may find that you don’t need any money to be happy, you need some money to live.

10:34 But what is that quantity of money, that amount of money that’s actually going to get you into the life that you love? To me, coming from my perspective, it is more important to live a life that you love than it is to have an excessive amount of money. And again, I’m not knocking the million dollar goal. Do that if that’s your thing. But I want you to find happiness way before you get to a million dollars.

10:58 I want you to find wholeness way before you get to a million dollars. I want you to be proud of your accomplishments before you get to a million dollars and I want you to take the pressure off and you do that by understanding exactly what it is that you need to survive, exactly what it is that you need to thrive. And then go ahead and put your million dollar goal on the end of that. So as a result of this experience that I had that I know is common to other entrepreneurs out there just like you who are listening, is that I created this course called The Money Making Roadmap and this course will help you walk through what your goals are. I ask you a series of questions.

11:32 I have a meditation inside for you so you can do a deep dive and think about it. What is it that you want out of your life? Not what does your mom want for you to do? Not your dad, not your spouse, not society. I get caught up in all of those things too.

11:46 But what is it that your soul wants you to do for you to be happy? And then how can you use your business to make that come true? Once we’ve decided what you want in your life, then we’re going to put some numbers around your lifestyle and then we’ll talk about using your business to help you get there. All of these tools, this process which is a great first step to moving the needle in your business, are included in my Money Making Roadmap course which is available if you click the link in the show notes. So I encourage you to get curious, to go deep and to see what it is you really want because you will certainly get caught up chasing somebody else’s bag if you don’t know what bag has your name on it.

12:27 So go to the link in the Show Notes, click on the course to learn more information, and I promise you it’ll be time well spent. It’ll be your North Star that is guiding you exactly to where you want to go without all the pressure that you’re probably experiencing now from all the messages that we get out there about what kind of business we need to have and now we need to run it. You are absolutely in charge of your ship, but you want to make sure it’s pointed in the right direction. All right, I’ll see you all next week. Ciao.

12:58 Thank you so much for listening. If you want to hear more on how you can align your business and your life with me as a coach, head to the Show Notes and sign up for the email list. See you next week.