E76: Reclaim Your Joy: Tackling the Sick and Tired Cycle

You deserve to live the life that you have dreamt of. You deserve to have even bigger dreams. And you deserve to have the support to help you get there"

- Asha Wilkerson, Esq.

Episode Summary:

Fed up with the feeling of being stuck in a never-ending cycle of being sick and tired? In this episode of Transcend the podcast, I explore the topic of breaking the “sick and tired” cycle that can leave entrepreneurs feeling overwhelmed and burnt out in their businesses. I discuss my own experiences and coaching insights on how to overcome this challenging cycle by embracing our individuality, seeking help, and following our unique paths to success. By envisioning our ideal business and incorporating meditation into our decision-making, we can make intentional choices that lead to a more fulfilling and successful entrepreneurial journey.

In this episode, you will hear how to:

  • Break free from the exhausting cycle that hinders your progress in the business world.
  • Channel your inner talents and unique skill set for a personalized touch to your enterprise.
  • Understand the power of asking for help and creating a dependable support circle.
  • Utilize imaginative and reflective practices as catalysts for the expansion of your business.
  • Confront and dissolve the negative feelings associated with entrepreneurial burn out.

What You’ll Learn On This Episode:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction,

    In this episode, Asha Wilkerson talks about the sick and tired cycle that entrepreneurs often find themselves in. She discusses the emotional impact of this cycle, including pressure, short-temperedness, and victimhood.

  • 00:01:26 – Pressure,

    Asha discusses the feeling of pressure that entrepreneurs often experience in their business, such as pressure to answer emails, return phone calls, or create perfect presentations. She encourages entrepreneurs to build a business that fits their skills and expertise.

  • 00:02:18 – Short temperedness,

    Asha talks about how being in the sick and tired cycle can cause short-temperedness and impatience with support staff, family, friends, and clients.

  • 00:03:05 – Victimhood,

    Asha discusses how entrepreneurs can slip into a victim mindset, feeling like the world is working against them. She encourages entrepreneurs to take ownership of their choices and make changes to get out of the cycle.

  • 00:04:52 – Reasons for the Cycle,

    Asha talks about common reasons why entrepreneurs end up in the sick and tired cycle, such as following someone else’s standards, staying in their zone of excellence instead of finding their zone of genius, and refusing to ask for help. She encourages entrepreneurs to make changes to avoid burnout.

  • 00:12:43 – Breaking the Sick and Tired Cycle,

    Asha Wilkerson offers to help business owners break the cycle of feeling sick and tired, using her experience and a variety of tools such as visioning, meditation, writing, and making a plan with specific action items and accountability.

  • 00:13:37 – Importance of Having a Coach,

    According to Asha, having a coach is crucial because they can provide a third-party perspective and help you identify where you are making choices that aren’t aligned with your goals. They can also help you look at your situation objectively and make a change.

  • 00:14:10 – No Need to Feel Guilty,

    Asha reassures listeners that feeling stuck in the sick and tired cycle is a normal part of being a business owner and being human. She encourages people to reach out for help, as it’s not something they should feel guilty about or think they should be able to overcome alone.

  • 00:15:13 – Dreaming Without Restrictions,

    Asha explains that she helps her clients dream without restrictions and think about what they truly want for their business without worrying about external factors such as finances, what others will think, or boundaries and parameters. They work together to build that dream and figure out the steps to achieve it.

  • 00:16:33 – You Deserve to Thrive,

    Asha emphasizes that listeners deserve to live a life where they’re not stuck in the sick and tired cycle, and they deserve to have support to achieve their dreams. She encourages people to reach out to her for coaching, as she can help them identify the resources they need and put action to their big dreams.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Book a call to learn more about how we can work together through 1:1 coaching

Connect With Us: 

00:29 Welcome back to another episode of Transcend the podcast. Like usual, I am really, really excited that you are here, and today I’m going to talk to you about ending the sick and tired cycle. I remember this phrase, aren’t you tired of being sick and tired? And I wanted to talk to you a little bit about what that looks like in business. If you have ever felt sick and tired, this is the episode for you.

00:55 So many of my clients come to me and they’re burnt out. They’re sick and tired. They’re doing the same things over and over again. It’s not bringing them any joy. They’re wondering why they can’t get any excitement in their business.

01:07 The work feels like it’s hard and they’re not ready to give up, which is good, but they’re also not sure how to move forward. So what does any of this even mean? And does it sound familiar to you? I want to tell you a little bit about what this sick and tired cycle actually feels like emotionally. The first thing I can think of is pressure.

01:29 It feels like so much pressure. Do you feel pressure in and around your business? Maybe? Pressure to answer your emails, pressure to return phone calls right away? Pressure to make your presentations perfect.

01:42 Pressure to show up all the time for your clients. It’s pressure. It’s pressure everywhere. Maybe. It’s pressure to produce perfect top tier products or services or perfect reports.

01:54 Does that sound familiar? Pressure to keep going because you’re already in, even though you’re not sure whether or not you want to continue. Or maybe pressure to continue along the same path because you’re not sure how to make the path more of your own. It might feel like you’re always behind, always struggling to catch up. It feels like pressure.

02:16 Does it resonate? Or maybe you’re someone who is feeling or experiencing a lot of short temperedness or impatience. Do you ever find yourself snapping at the support staff that you’ve hired? Or snapping at your close friends or family, your children, or your spouse or significant other, your partner? Do you feel like you’re snapping at your clients and just like no patience?

02:41 I can’t tell you how many times I don’t have it today. That’s because there’s this feeling of being sick and tired in this cycle. This work cycle that you’ve put yourself in. So short temperedness is another sign that you are in that sick and tired cycle. Something else that often comes up that I have experienced personally and I can see in my clients is oftentimes feeling like the world is against you.

03:05 Now, that’s being a bit dramatic. But I have heard people say, I mean, I have a VA or I have an employee and she just won’t help or he just doesn’t get it. It seems like everything I ask him to do, he does the exact opposite. Feeling like nobody is really on your team, like you’re standing on this island by yourself and you just want somebody to help you. But also because of your short temperedness and feeling sick and tired, sometimes you might have trouble getting those people on board, which turns into feeling like everyone or everything is working against you, making life a little bit more hard.

03:39 And this is that victim cycle. It’s that woe is me thinking. I can’t tell you how many people I have worked with who come to me and didn’t even realize that they were in that woe is me thinking or in that victim space. And at times I’ve slipped into it too, because sick and tired, right? And it’s feeling like, oh my gosh, I’m a victim of my choices.

04:00 And you may not be using this language and you may not even realize that it’s because of some of the choices that you’ve made. But it’s feeling like, I’m stuck. I don’t know how to get out of this. I can’t get out of this. Nothing is going to work.

04:13 Nobody else in the industry is doing it like I want to do or everybody else is doing it this way. Those are all thoughts and feelings of victimhood. And let me tell you, as much as it might feel like you’re validating yourself in that moment, don’t stay there. You are always making choices and you always have a choice to do something different. The thing is, nobody enjoys this cycle of being sick and tired.

04:39 I get it. But often we don’t know how to get out of this sick and tired cycle. But before I tell you how to break the sick and tired cycle, let me tell you about some of the decisions you’ve probably made to get you here to this point in the first place. One of the biggest things for me and a common thread I see amongst my clients is following somebody else’s standards. Now, this is perfectly understandable, especially when you’re new in business.

05:03 You look at someone whose business you admire or a thought leader that you admire and you try to build your business after them. But what happens after you get started is that you realize, or maybe you don’t realize, but what’s happening is that their secret sauce, their special talent is allowing them to build their business that way. And you are trying to build the same business, but you don’t have the exact same thing that you have. Instead, what you need to do is build a business that really fits your skills, your knowledge, your expertise, and fits the way that you enjoy doing business. I can tell you from my own life.

05:37 Before I started my own law practice, I worked for a firm, and coming out of law school, it was the big firm. You wanted to go to a big firm to be a named partner. And in order to do that, you had to bill 2000 hours a year, which meant translated into, like, eight to ten hour days that you were actually doing work for a client, not getting to the office, not having a coffee break, but actually doing work that you could. Bill which meant that you were working nights and weekends on a regular basis, which often leads to burnout. And that was the only example that I saw.

06:07 So when I started my own practice, I thought, okay, I’m starting out as a solo now, but I’m going to grow. I’m going to put my name on the practice, and I’m going to get as many clients as I can, make as much money as I can, and try and go and compete with the big boys and girls who are out there in the big time law firm. And before I knew it, it was probably a year and a half, two years max, and I started to feel that burnout. But I didn’t have any other examples in the industry of people who were practicing remotely, who had remote law firms. Everything was downtown in whatever city you were in, lots of paper, some digital activity like email, but certainly not collecting electronic signatures and not meeting by Zoom.

06:51 I don’t even think zoom had been created at that point. But at some point I said, wait a minute, I can’t continue to go down this path that I know now is not for me, so let me find some other role models that I can model my business after. And I had to look at different coaches and people who had online businesses, because there wasn’t an example in the legal industry. And when I created my own by taking bits and pieces that I saw from different areas, then I was able to hit my own stride and build a business that I really loved and a business that served me. Another reason why you may have gotten to this sick and tired point is because you’re doing work that’s not within your zone of genius.

07:27 Your zone of genius is the stuff that comes easily and naturally for you, that’s fun, that’s exciting and engaging for you. But oftentimes that takes a leap of faith to get to that zone of genius, because we’ve been conditioned to think that work always has to be hard, it always has to be challenging, and oftentimes we’re trying to do work that everybody else is doing because we know that they’re able to make money. There’s a little bit of fear within us that says, if I do this the way that I want to if I only choose to meet with clients on Zoom, if I choose to have a physical location in one city but travel the world, no one’s going to buy from me. I’m not going to have any customers, I’m not going to be able to do it the way that I want to. And that keeps us in our zone of excellence, doing things that we’re pretty good at, but not things that we necessarily love and enjoy.

08:13 The zone of excellence is where anybody could do those things. The zone of genius is where you are the only one who can do those things because of the way that you do them and the joy that it brings you. So staying within the zone of excellence or even zone of just competence or really the other way you should look at it is if you’re holding yourself back from really running your business the way that you want to, do it or from doing the work that you really want to do because you’re not sure that your special sauce, your uniqueness, is actually going to attract the clientele that you want, then you are likely going to be in a place of burnout in a sick and tired cycle because you’re not actually doing the work that gives you life and gives you joy. When you find that work for yourself, learn how to monetize it, then you’re doing things that make you happy. You’re making money, your clients are happy, and it feels lighter, it feels better, because now you’re also doing things that affirm you.

09:08 But if you stay stuck in that zone of competence or the zone of excellence where it’s not your secret sauce, it’s not your joy, you are more than likely going to find yourself on that sick and tired cycle. And I know most of you listening know exactly what I’m talking about. Another way that you come to the sick and tired cycle is by refusing to ask for help. Now, I am fiercely independent, and both of my parents taught me to be independent and to be resourceful. Also, law school taught me to be independent and to be resourceful.

09:40 And so my biggest challenge oftentimes is asking for help when I need it. One, because either I don’t feel like I deserve the help, two, I might feel like, well, this is easy enough to do, I should just do it. Or three, because I don’t know exactly who to ask or how to ask for the help that I need. But if you find yourself taking on all of these things, making excuses, which may sound like really good reasons for why you can’t get help, I can’t afford it right now. I don’t know who to ask.

10:06 It’s not actually that difficult. It’s really simple. It just takes time. Then you are also likely in a space of a sick and tired cycle or are headed in that direction. And again, I’m speaking from personal experience as someone who takes pride erroneously in being able to do so many things myself because I’m capable.

10:25 But just because I’m capable doesn’t mean that I should. So the more that I ask for help and it’s uncomfortable initially, but the more that I bring other people around me and say, hey, can you do this for me? And in the beginning, sometimes I’ll say I know how to do it because I feel like I need to justify why I’m asking for help, right? So even if you say, I know that it’s not that challenging or it’s not that complicated, but I just can’t do it right now, that is one thing that’s going to help you break that cycle of being sick and tired. Because now you’re doing the things or eliminating the things that are draining to you and doing the things that you actually enjoy.

10:56 You also may find yourself in a sick and tired cycle if you’re in this loop of doing the same thing over and over again. If you don’t have a North Star or a direction, a goal for where you want your business to grow to, then you find yourself doing the same things and forgetting why you’re doing them. So it’s really important to put a goal out there to know, this is where I’m going with my business and this is when I want to get there. So you can do those things that will lead you there. But if you’re just in your business, just to be in it, don’t really have any income goals, don’t really have any lifestyle goals that your business can help you provide.

11:29 You’re probably going to get burned out. You’re probably going to feel like you’re in that sick and tired cycle. And if you can relate to that, keep listening because I’m going to tell you how to break that sick and tired cycle. So now that you’ve identified how you may have gotten into this sick and tired cycle, I want to ask you, when are you going to be sick and tired of being sick and tired? And what are you going to do about it?

11:52 You have a couple of choices. You can keep doing the same things that you have always done that got you here in the first place and just hope that it will get better. Or you can really take a hard look at your life and your business, identify the choices that you’ve made, the systems that you’ve set up, and decide that you are going to change things around to better fit your needs and to help you create the life that you want so you can break that sick entire cycle. And I know sometimes it feels like you don’t have any more choices to make. You have to do it this way.

12:22 Nobody in your industry is doing it that way. But I promise you that there is always an option. And if you’re feeling like you need a lifeline. You need some help getting out of that sick and tired spin cycle. I want you to book a one on one consultation with me so we can talk about what is going on in your life and in your business, what is keeping you stuck in the sick and tired cycle.

12:43 And we’ll make a plan to get you out of the sick and tired cycle. Now, I know how to help you because I have helped a number of my own business owner clients break this cycle and I have actually broken this cycle for myself a few times over. What’s really helpful is to have someone, a third party who only has your interest in mind to help you see where you are getting stuck in certain thought loops. I’ll help you identify where you are making choices that aren’t actually in alignment with what you want. Oftentimes we get on autopilot.

13:18 We think that things have to be done this certain way because that’s the way that we’ve been doing them. And we’re unable to look from a bird’s eye view out of our situation and think about how to make a change. That’s why it’s really important to have a coach who has been there, who has done that and who wants to help you break that cycle. We’ll use a myriad of tools that I have. We’ll do some visioning, we’ll do some meditation, we’ll do some writing.

13:43 And lastly we’ll make a plan. I will make sure that you figure out exactly where you are and that you identify exactly where you want to go. And we will make steps and action items with dates and accountability to help you get out of your sick and tired cycle and into your thriving business that is waiting for you. Now, I don’t want you to feel any guilt or anything like that if you found yourself in the sick and tired cycle. I don’t want you to think that, oh, you should just be able to do it by yourself.

14:14 This is a part of being a business owner. This is a part of being human. It’s just a part of existing. We oftentimes find ourselves in these cycles and don’t realize that we have gotten stuck. And so if you feel like you are stuck, I want you to reach out to me using the link in the show notes to book a one on one consultation so we can get you from sick and tired to rich and thriving.

14:40 My clients who have come to me feeling sick and tired have started out in that cycle that I described. But now they have learned how to tune into their bodies. When they make a decision, they stop and ask themselves how does this feel if I play down or play out option A? What does that feel like in my body when I think about now? How does option B feel?

14:59 Where do I feel things in my body and what does that tell me? And then I teach them how to trust their decision making based on what their body is telling them. I also work with you and teach you how to dream without restrictions, oftentimes. Now, coming from an attorney, all I learned about in law school was restrictions. And I also had a principal, a middle school principal, for a mom when I was in elementary and middle school and part of high school.

15:22 So she knew exactly what I was planning on doing before I could even formulate the thought in my head. And because she was responsible for thousands of little kids every day, she also taught me about boundaries and parameters. And oftentimes those boundaries and parameters mean that it’s harder to dream of something new because it’s not within that path that keep you safe path. And so one of the things that I do with my clients is think about if you could dream anything that you want to do, if you could run your business any way that you want without those voices in your head telling you that you can’t. Without the thoughts about, how am I going to get the money or resources to do it?

16:00 Without the thoughts of, what will my partner think? Or what will my children think? Without the thoughts of worrying about your parents, what would that dream be? And we really work to build that dream, and then we work backwards to fill in the steps to get you to where you want to go so you will never have to be in that sick and tired cycle again. So once you’ve decided that you’re done with the sick and tired cycle and you want to break it again, reach out to me in the show notes and book a one on one consultation with me.

16:29 I want to help you grow and thrive, and I know that I can do that. You deserve to live a life that’s not on this sick and tired loop. You deserve to live the life that you have dreamt of. You deserve to have even bigger dreams, and you deserve to have the support to help you get there together. We will call in the resources that you need, identify specifically what support you want, and put some action to those big dreams that may be a little bit scary to you right now, but once we put all the pieces in place, you will know exactly how you’re going to get there.

17:00 You will feel confident along the way, and you’ll be so excited to step into that dream life and that dream business that you’ve always wanted but weren’t entirely sure that you knew how to get. So be done with the sick and tired cycle. Reach out to me. Let’s build your business and have some fun along the way. Thank you so much for listening.

17:22 If you want to hear more on how you can align your business and your life with me as a coach. Head to the show notes and sign up for the email list. See you next week.

Subscribe & Review TRANSCEND the Podcast

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of TRANSCEND the Podcast!

If our weekly episodes have helped you on your journey to build a sustainable business, please head over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE to the show. We’d also love it if you would leave us a 5-star rating and review.

Your reviews and feedback will not only help us continue to deliver great, helpful content, but it will also help us reach even more entrepreneurs just like you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *